suzanne

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 19:42:49 GMT

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Thu, 20 Jan 2005 09:37:16 GMT

haha, life's funny. you just have to laugh you know.

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Tue, 18 Jan 2005 22:23:27 GMT

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 23:34:00 GMT

last night was the first time we used my car in foreeeever.. okay not even that long but it feels like it. it's a great car. i want to marry it some day. we listened to old mix tapes from summer.

, cause yeah i've been using my camera lately. i stole this bottle of tabasco from fat burger for some reason. i also stole a cd from borders for some reason. oh and i ate fries with ketchup last night. KETCHUP.

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 08:22:07 GMT

hello, last night i got a tiny bit fucked up. my spit tasted like a fun little mix of cookies, honey nut cheerios, vodka, red bull, weed, and orange juice this morning.

something about me. i'm really innocent, i'm naive, i'm kind of blind. i've never really suffered, i've never really lost anything, i'm filled with awe and wonder haha, i don't really know what "pain" is, when i miss people i get sad but it's like a naive sadness. i never know what i have, & i lose people easily because of this. every emotion is new to me even if i'd had it before, it's always different. i always know what i'm talking about, but at the same time, i never know what i'm talking about.

ideal vs real

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 04:04:23 GMT

i'm fucking everywhere, i can't get it together. i can't think about one thing at a time and nothing i think about is good so basically i'm thinking about multiple horrible things at the same time. i'm really everywhere i don't want to be. it's insane. it's like ONE OF THOSE THINGS where you don't know whether or not you're improving and it turns out you're going in circles. BIG circles. and there's something you can never ever ever ever have. just because.

people

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 00:12:39 GMT

some people get really hostile when you try to take their picture.

he's into vlad and gore

i'm kind of mean to this guy

he draws well

we had a sports rally

they separated the boys and the girls cause the theme was "boys v.s. girls" haha

this guy kept trying to dodge the camera. i finally got some of him.

natalie

jacob

lunch lady who suspects me of stealing cafeteria food, surrounded by asians

michelle

i'll feel bad and mean if i explain this picture to you

my sister

juan

rain rain rain

my hair goes crazy and can easily mold to any shape on rainy days

loco/scooby and nicole

doesn't he remind you of a turtle

poor randy, lost $10

i slipped on the stairs and cracked my head open

notice my please-dont-touch-me-im-really-grossed-out face

mtendere. i saw him and dion at taco nazo yesterday. i have lots of black friends.

my parents are throwing a giant party this saturday. this means idle j.d. and idle beer and people i haven't seen in a while who might give me money for past birthdays and their children who might try to beat me up because they hate my guts. it's my parents' & my sister's birthday thing cause they were all born in january. it's like a big year for everyone. my parents both turn 50 (HOLY SHIT, right?), my sister turns 16, and i turn 18.

p.s. i know some you people dislike some of the people in these pictures... please forgive me! cause i love you :[

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 07:17:30 GMT

i got my stylus verve today yay. last night i slept for 12 hours, 6:30pm-6:30am and awoke to an earthquake. some fat chick wasn't watching where she was going and stepped on my foot. there's like this burn thing there now. yum. hm i have lots of other things to say but i don't really feel like saying anything. if i do, i'll be a.)breaking my resolution or b.)wasting precious time. SO. goodbye. i luv u all plz don't forget me!

RACCOON

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 09:39:09 GMT

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 01:37:44 GMT

i just got off the phone with amber*. we decided that my new year's resolution is to finish quade. god, 4+ years of shit. it's going to be fucking amazing. and embarrassing. my other resolution is to not have to go to a junior college if i can help it. my third resolution is to find somebody who i won't get sick of and i can let myself get attached to but that one is on the bottom of my list. my other resolution is to keep my secrets to myself and never talk about my feelings :)

have a nice year

*i decided i'm going to stop talking about memories and start making new ones.

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 23:43:49 GMT

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 05:06:11 GMT

2004:
getting drunk at the drive-in a bunch of times
sneaking my car out
going to the beach
getting lost in l.a. every time
committing a hit-and-run with amber
getting away with a lot of shit at the beginning of the year
not getting away with anything towards the end
amazing halloween
amazing christmas
new york city
having to pushstart edward's truck
having to jumpstart my car.. twice in the same night.. drunk
being a jerk to guys
completely losing touch with sarah, alexis, maria, etc.
um i guess being a jerk period.
mixtapes for my car
coldstone down the street from portofino
being v.i.p. at moving units
moving to chino
a lot of "firsts"
new people
same people
not visiting the tree the whole year
not going to the creek, not even once
palm springs
driving home from edward's house alone often
camping
moldy apartment
getting sick of people easily
the desert
new bad habits
sneaking into disneyland
catching the flu a lot
passing out on anthony's rock-hard guestroom bed
random visits from dustin and matt at portofino!
matt and dustin saying embarrassing but cute things in a drunken state
"I took a picture of your vomit in the trashcan. It looked like white seashells and pearls."
ew anthony filming the big orgy scene
that one girl's going away party at the park drinking cheap wine and drawing naked figures in the sand and playing "a little princess", i just remember that cause it was like the last time anthony was really cool to me
ditching class with maria
going up on the hill and watching the sun set
amber taking too many pills and having a fit and throwing up all over my car
courtney paying fat guy $5 to kick edward's ass
getting taken in by the cops for "trespassing" "being out past curfew" and noel's "underage smoking"
stealing that GIANT plank of wood off the side of the road in woodview on valentine's day for some reason
edward giving that gay guy matt (edward's bf) a little candy heart with my number on it at red robin on valentine's day awwwww how cute
finding all those boxes outside of coldstone and sledding down piles of gravel with them and being robots oh my god hahahaha that was so funny
videotaping chris as a drag queen and lisa as a vampire in the girl's bathroom at borders. weird day.
free cheese sticks at red robin
sneaking into the glasshouse every time
confirmation teeheehee
apc/the mars volta with Richard Ramirez aka the night stalker, and dying
hanging out with pgmg and sitting in that hammock with that creepy guy from oregon. i get so creeped out easiy.
"ma mouf is thry can you giff meh a thrink" "im going to burn you wiff mah thigarette!!!!"
kissing on the grass under the stars at the park in the middle of the night
hollywood with matt and amber and amber having a seizure in the macdonald's bathroom
having like, a TRILLION crushes at the beginning of the year and being happy and then feeling really low and depressed and alone towards the end of the year hahahah :(
meeting people i don't regret meeting
amber and i making a giant "CONGRATULATIONS ALADDIN" sign out of paper towels and ketchup during/for edward's graduation ceremony
meeting bobby who is like the best friend i ever met from online

i think i had the best time before i turned 17 in august when my parents started catching me in lies. cause now i just don't feel motivated enough to lie as well as i used to. oh well. it's gonna be fucking good this year.

i'll add to the list as i think of things.

clockwise starting from the top left: disneyland, first day i moved to portofino, drinking at oak ridge park with amber, taking the bus everywhere, west covina mall

clockwise starting from the top left: stranger giving us a ride to pomona when we got stranded in montclair, fight club at anthony's, going to new york

clockwise starting from the top left: anthony+blacklight/drunken nights at anthony's, edward with long hair, drugs, growling face at disneyland, circuses with trina

disclaimer: i didn't post this picture to intentionally piss anyone off

COUNTER-clockwise starting from the top RIGHT: 4th of july + beer + flags + bicycles, ditto, hollywood hills hiking extravaganza, matt's legs/look at that beautiful l.a. smog

top to bottom: more portofino fun, look closely

santa monica

santa monica

running through sprinklers at the park

best drunkest halloween ever

the pictures don't do the year any justice at all. who has time to take pictures when you're having a good time.

most of the good things happened in the beginning. if it's gonna be the same for 2005 then i'm excited.

i'm kissing myself at midnight. it'll be perfectly normal.

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 13:49:42 GMT

"Thoughts are the shadows of our sensations - always darker, emptier, simpler than these."

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 07:27:38 GMT

josh defaces ugly babies

disneyland fireworks

there's nothing that annoys me more than when people scratch out their faces in pictures

thanks, bobby, for this one

me and josh drying off our pants which were wet from the ocean

BOBBY YOU STILL HAVE PICTURES TO SEND ME, DONT THINK I FORGOT

today was the first day of winter.

Sun, 19 Dec 2004 18:07:37 GMT

happiness is good health and a bad memory

Fri, 17 Dec 2004 15:05:04 GMT

aww i broke my record last night at approximately 3:00pm. i fell asleep. and i got up just now and i'm still going to be late for school.

p.s. i still dont give a fuck

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 22:45:27 GMT

In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock.

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 15:02:22 GMT

lalalalalala i have to go to school right now lalalala it's so fun i can't wait it's the best experience ever omg it's almost 7:10 that's when i leave omg omg it's almost here i can't wait!!!!!!!!1 ahhhhh my head is going to explode in anticipation! school i love you!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 04:10:13 GMT

last night people came over and stuff and we did stuff. then at around 7 edward and i took my car and we ate and went to borders. then stuff. i was really sleepy and tired all day but i didn't want to go home, so i was like "let's go to the glasshouse." well we went but we didn't, we just chilled in the parking lot for a few hours.

a sunrise

a cowboy

outside of edward's house. i was out there by myself and his mom came out and saw me wave at her and got scared and quickly went inside according to eduardo

there was some nice fog in chino hills. i tried to take a picture and failed.

edward's really self-conscious about his buttcrack

they made a bonfire. i just watched from the car though because i was soooo super cold and sleepy and dying. it produced warmth.

i dont know

edward let me borrow some movies so i tried to watch saved! last night before going to bed but i fell asleep.

today i went to school. i had to clean the fucking sink in art because i fell asleep and because apparently i'm the teacher's new slave. i also fell asleep during the middle of a government debate, while my team was up. after school edward picked me up. we went to english springs park to visit my turtles. then we went to the block in orange so edward could buy pants. i fell asleep on the way there and on the way back. i was leaning against the door and i thought i was going to fall out.

lalallalalla this is through carbon canyon

look its me

according to edward, these are canadian geese

he LOVES canadian geese

come little duckies

wild goose chase

edward strikes a pose

he smells a leaf

i'm reaching for a leaf

he eats a leaf

edward is a sick guy

i'm your queen

obey me

oooh

oooh

oooh

i tripped up the stairs

i think tomorrow we're going to l.a. but i don't know. i was so moody today because i was so tired. i kept snapping at people and ignored anyone whose face annoyed me. oh my god and ewwwwww i drank spoiled chocolate milk. it was gross. i screamed and demanded a refund but the idiot would only give me a new chocolate milk. so i stole 3 calzones!

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 01:15:27 GMT

i just got home from west covina. okay i didn't just get home, i got home like 4 hours ago. i ate a lot today. but i lost a couple of pounds in the past few days. my eyebrows are swollen, i got them waxed. i found a bit of vodka in my closet this morning. i found a lot of j.d. in there too. if armando ends up not being able to hang out today i'm probably going to end up drinking with my cousins or something, or if they dont come with their parents i'll just drink by myself. i have come to realize that i'm a private person. and i say a lot of things i don't mean. i do a lot of things i don't mean and i know how to ignore my conscience because i do it a lot. i don't really care about consequences on my part or how what i do affects other people. i don't do this all the time, though.

anyways my little cousins are using their gamecube on my t.v. and they're annoying, i want to kill them. edward's coming over in a bit, i'm just wasting time for now. lalalalalalalalala!

i've been messing around with my school's camera. haha, belle takes it home with her all the time now. she should just never return and give it to me for christmas. it's a canon EOS 10D digital slr. i want her to bring home the rebel.

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 10:02:53 GMT

i'm making a website about me, for me, revolving around me. what should it have on it?

p.s. tonight i bought christmas presents for myself and hung out with belle and dino. it was nice, actually. i also argued with my mother, there's nothing i like more than arguing.

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 15:04:15 GMT

yesterday was really fucking sweet. from when mikey told me he had a crush on me to when we unexpectedly hung out and saw finding neverland and held hands and stuff. just doing that made me feel less dead inside like i have been feeling since god knows when. he's the best. oh yeah and we saw some of the beginning of alexander. i already had a headache from earlier and it just worsened it. i fell asleep on mikey's shoulder a couple of times, haha, but i don't think he noticed because it was only for a few seconds.

oh p.s. edward got food poisoning or something because he got all sick and threw up at the gas station and could barely drive. :( edward; i miss driving around aimlessly and wasting time from like 4pm-1am every night like we did in the summer! you have jobs now. sucks.

i hate school, bye.

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 14:42:48 GMT

hahaha i dont care anymore

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 01:03:34 GMT

i don't give a fuck

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 02:11:15 GMT

i'm playing the psychiatrist in memo's next "movie." it seems pretty lame and i'm not that willing to do it but i'm going to.

i'm failing two classes AGAIN. today it was really windy and cold. i just got up from a shitty nap and a shitty dream. i was two periods late for school today somehow. my face hurts. i'm not going to see plot to blow up the eiffel tower tomorrow. nobody showed up at school today and i was stuck with armando, he's really weird. oh yeah and i kind of realized that i don't like jesse at all anymore. good news is... i have no good news.

i have nothing to look forward to
hang out with me this weekend you dirtbags, what are friends for, i mean really